The problem... who’s wrong? Mama says versus papa says!
Last night while boarding my flight back to istanbul, there was a couple and their infant ahead of me.
The little kid stretched his hand and pulled a passenger’s hair.
The mother started talking to the kid, the father interfered saying he does not understand plus he thinks he is playing!!!
The beginning of a journey of confusion to our kids..
Mother on one side and father on the opposite side.
A war or unquestioned thoughts and beliefs, who loses?
The kid, first
The family, second.
So let’s get a bit below the surface of What happened and what the father said and why.
The father was justifying for the kid’s behaviors, in his mind he made it mean that the kid is wrong and started defending, while in reality it’s the action that was wrong.
And since unconsciously he thinks he is wrong, he does not want the kid to be blamed and started the unconscious justification.
Now to the facts; It’s normal to be wrong, first as a human, second as a kid human 😊
Who is wrong versus what is wrong!!
This is the real problem!!
Once we go into who is wrong, justification pops up and we entangle in an on going dilemma, conflict, war of beliefs, anger, resentment etc.
Next time you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t personalize the conflict.
Identify the action and spectate facts from fiction and work it out objectively.
What is wrong not who is wrong.