Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet

Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Judge your neighbor • Write it down • Ask four questions • Turn it around

Think of a recurring stressful situation, a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each of the questions below, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence. Use short, simple sentences.

1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why? [I am... (emotions) with... ( name) because...]

Example: I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me.

2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do? [I want... (name) to... ]

Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself.

3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them? [(Name) should/shouldn’t...]

Example: Paul should take a deep breath. He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me. He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack.

4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do? [I need (name) to...]

Example: I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right.

5. What do you think of them in this situation? Make a list. (Remember, be petty and judgmental.) [(Name) is...]

Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious.

6. What is it about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again? [I don’t ever want...]

Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again.

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